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Calvary Lutheran Church - ELCA

Scottsbluff, Nebraska

A cheerful heart is a good medicine, but a downcast spirit dries up the bones.
Proverbs 17:22
Exercise your Sense of Humor
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Ponderisms
  

Can you cry under water?

 

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

 

Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'. But it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going?

 

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

 

What disease did cured ham actually have?

 

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

 

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?

 

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

 

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

 

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

 

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

 

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

 

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

 

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

 

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

 

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME stuff, why didn't he just buy dinner?

 

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

 

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

 

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

 

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

 

New in the Library 
"How to Write Large Books" by Warren Peace
"The Lion Attacked" by Claude Yarmoff
"The Art of Archery" by Beau N. Narrow
"Songs for Children" by Barbara Blacksheep
"Irish Heart Surgery" by Angie O'Plasty
"Desert Crossing" by I. Rhoda Camel
"School Truancy" by Marcus Absent
"I Was a Cloakroom Attendant" by Mahatma Coate
"I Lost My Balance" by Eileen Dover and Phil Down
"Mystery in the Barnyard" by Hu Flung Dung
"Positive Reinforcement" by Wade Ago
"Shhhh!" by Danielle Soloud
"The Philippine Post Office" by Imelda Letter
"Things to Do at a Party" by Bob Frapples
"Stop Arguing" by Xavier Breath
"Raising Mosquitos" by I. Itch
"Mountain Climbing" by Hugo First
 
 
When you get ready for bed, give all your worries to God. He's going to be up all night anyway.
HIT PARADE
What song was #1 on your birthday?

 

What is your
Birthday Bible Verse?

Joyful Noiseletter

    www.calvary-lutheran.net                      Raymond E. Venghaus, Pastor                    17 East 27th St. in Scottsbluff